Back to the Future

Before I share what I am challenging myself to do this week, I think it would be good for me to talk about how last week went. Lets take a moment to read again 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV

⁴ Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵ or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;⁶ it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Reading through this passage everyday and taking some time to study the actions of love was incredibly beneficial and yet challenging for me. Some days I was able to read first thing in the morning and other days it was the last thing I read before bed. I am so glad the Lord gave us this passage of scripture!

I want to be totally honest and transparent with you. While I could do better in all areas mentioned in these verses (couldn't we all?) there are a couple actions that deep down I struggle with in my marriage. The first one is patience. I don't think it is by chance that patience is the first action of love mentioned. Patience has always been something that I have struggled with. Even as a little girl I can recall times when my parents would tell me over and over to practice patience for something I wanted :-).

We had dinner with some friends this week and were sharing with them something we have been praying about. I mentioned that I am confident the Lord will direct us in this decision so I don't feel stressed but I am feeling impatient. Of course my flesh desires for my husband to come to the same decisions as I have but in reality I know that the Lord could very well change my heart to be more like my husbands. We will not move forward if we both aren't on the same page and therefore I am forced to be patient. They mentioned that we are in the process of actively waiting and I really appreciated hearing those words. 

ACTIVELY WAITING. 

It implies that we are still actively seeking the Lords will but waiting for Him to give us a like-mindedness. For those of you who struggle with Patience like me I'm sure you can think back on a time or two (or fifty) when you lost your patience with your spouse and made a wrong decision on your own or caused an argument that could have been avoided. Lord please help me to be patient with my spouse and actively seek you when I am struggling.

The second action that stood out to me this past week was being irritable. As a woman I have found myself in the past quickly reading past this action. I mean as women we have an excuse every month as to why we can be irritable right? Wrong. Even though, just like clock work, three days before I start I find I am super emotional and become irritated by the simplest of things I still must submit my emotions to the Lord. Every thought must be taken captive, 2 Corinthians 10:5.

For Matthew and I it seems like being irritable with each other comes and goes. We will be calm and gentle with each other for a few months and then all of a sudden, WHAM! He even looks at me funny and I want to lash out. Usually we have found that taking some time to communicate with each other about the stresses of life on a regular basis helps with this but it still creeps into our relationship. My new prayer is that when I start to feel irritated, I will go straight to Matthew so we can pray together. Praying together always seems to bring understanding and peace to our relationship.

What were the things that stood out to you? I always find that when I ask the Lord to open my eyes to something in His Word, He is faithful to do that. Even though it is painful to see things clearly about yourself and your sin struggles, it is the first step in bringing it under submission to Christ.

Ok, I am going to change gears here and focus on the challenge for myself this week. Like I mentioned last week a song came on the radio that immediately took me back to our dating days. It is always fun to think about that time in my life :-). Remember when you had that giddy, excited feeling knowing you were going on a date?! I would spend the day thinking about what I was going to wear, how I was going to style my hair and what type of makeup I wanted to wear. Well I want to get in the habit of dating each other again even though we've been married 9 years!

Up until last year we were able to go on one date a week(have the boys grandparents for thank for that!). I know that once a week might seem like a lot but we have needed the uninterrupted time to have fun together and enjoy deep and meaningful conversations. Maybe sometime I will share some of the trials we have walked through together but for now I am just so grateful that we were able to consistently have that time together. We try to do a few family date nights now and one or two date nights for us a month.

Very early on in dating, Matthew and I thought it would be fun to switch out who planned our dates. He would plan a date one week and I would plan a date the next. It ended up being a really fun way to get to know each other better. He introduced me to the fun of International Cuisine and I usually planned something that involved some type of outdoor activity. Once we got to know each other better, I started looking at reviews for different ethnic restaurants in Portland because I knew he would enjoy trying a new restaurant and he started planning "surprise" adventures because he learned how much I enjoy surprise outings.

There is a certain park within walking distance of the house I grew up in that we used to walk to quite frequently. We always had really good conversations while we walked there and when we got to the park(which was on the top of a hill overlooking the city of Portland) we would sit down on a bench and enjoy the view. Many special events ended up taking place at that park for us. First kiss, first I love you and that ended up being the place he proposed to me on Christmas Eve 2005! 

His birthday is this week and so we are going to head to Portland for a fun date night. I am going to surprise him by taking him back to where our relationship really started! So my challenge for you is to think about a special place, outing, meal, song, etc... that you enjoyed while you were dating your spouse. Maybe you used to text each other funny quotes or sweet notes every day and that hasn't happened in a while. Whatever it may be, do something that will remind you both of your dating days. Thank the Lord for that fun time in your life as well as thank Him now for the partner in life He has given you. If your marriage is struggling and this is something hard to do, remember that we are called to love our spouse even when we don't feel it or aren't receiving love in return. Maybe a written note is all you can do this week, reminding them of a time when your relationship was healthy and fun. 

If you feel like it, I would love to hear about the dating experience you plan to recreate this week. I am always looking for fun date ideas and I am sure others do as well :-). Thanks again for reading and I plan on posting again next Sunday!!!