Unplugged

This post is going to be a challenge for me in more ways then one. You see this idea has been one that I have been wrestling with for a long time now. It is one that is going to take great self control to accomplish because if I am really honest with myself, I have to admit that I have an addiction. 

I can trace the start of my addiction to a period of time two and a half years ago when Austin was born. We had recently purchased a Ipad and while I was nursing Austin I would sit down and search the internet. When you nurse 8 times a day for 30-40 minutes that adds up to a lot of internet browsing. 4 hours a day plus other times I would jump on to look up a recipe, check out Facebook, check the news, etc....

My addiction is technology/Internet.

I log on to escape doing chores. I log on to escape the demands that motherhood bring, I even log on to escape having conversations/spending time with my Husband. Man when I write it out it sure sounds and looks ugly doesn't it?

A couple weeks ago when I committed to praying for my spouse and my marriage every day, the Lord was faithful to reveal this ugly truth to me. I was not just getting online to veg out and relax after a long day but I was also doing it to avoid the "work" required to make a marriage strong.

So last week I reached out to a close friend of mine and asked if she could help keep me accountable to spending only 30 minutes a day browsing online. I have had a couple days where I have failed but I have also had successful days and that has been encouraging to me.

Matthew and I went to a parenting class yesterday at church and the topic of getting rid of the unnecessary things in life that distract us from being fully present with our children came up. I was convicted yet again of the countless times I have told my children to wait for something because Mommy needed to send this text, send this email, look up this certain thing, etc....

While I realize that spending time on the internet isn't necessarily a bad thing, the amount of time you spend and who is neglected in the process can have eternal consequences. When I die and my husband and children think on memories of me, what do I want them to remember? I certainly don't want them remembering me always with my phone in my hand or staring at the computer screen all day long. I want them to remember that I was always talking about Jesus, His love for them, how much I love them and how we can love and serve others better. 

I have made a decision to drastically cut back on the time I spend checking my phone and doing things on the internet. Especially in the evenings after the kids go to bed. Matthew and I can both easily zone out and be in our own little internet world all evening which obviously isn't healthy. It also doesn't encourage communication or intimacy which are both vital components to a healthy and happy marriage.

"So how are you going to cut back?" you might ask. I will check my phone when I wake up to see if I have any messages and then put it away until after Austin goes down for a nap. I will check it again and respond to any messages. I won't look at it again until after the boys go to bed and then I will only spend 30 minutes or less an evening responding to messages, looking up something, viewing Facebook, watching YouTube, etc... I know this  might sound drastic but I need to put a lot of bounderies on myself right now. If people really need to talk to me they can call right?

I am looking forward to seeing the positive changes that will take place in my family over the next few weeks and months because of these bounderies. I am praying that in time, my addiction and desire to escape reality will fade and that my desire to spend more time with the Lord and with my family will increase (not that I don't desire those things now, I just know it can always be better!)

Thanks again for reading! As always my prayer is that at least one person reading will be encouraged or challenged to make changes to better their marriage. I also think its important to know that other people struggle in areas we do as well. When we are vulnerable and bring to light the areas that hold us captive, we experience freedom, grace and allow others to know they aren't alone.